Cinematic Emergency: THE Red Box is temporarily unavailable

I’ve written about Red Box before, but today’s Red Box post is actually about Red Box. / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

To wit,  this afternoon I went to THE Red Box, only one in our small town, so it deservedly has the title “THE Red Box” to return a movie that we watched last night.

On the screen was something to the effect that THE Red Box was temporarily unavailable and then included a 1-800 phone number if you were in need of immediate assistance. I decided I really didn’t need to call the number, because I always could return the movie later and I’m sure that somehow the computers to which it was connected would credit my account if needed. Then I thought about it:

“Why would I be in need of immediate assistance?”

I imagine the conversation I’d have with Red Box technical support, or at least my side of the conversation:

I came to the Red Box to get a movie that a friend told me was a kick-ass movie, but I got a message that said Red Box was temporarily unavailable. This really pisses me off, because I really wanted to see this kick-ass movie and now I can’t. I’m totally bummed.

My wife also said she imagined the conversation going this way from a teenage girl, or similar to this way (I might have paraphrased, because that’s, like, the way I roll):

Um, I, like, have to watch this movie for class. Actually I was, like, supposed to read the book for English Lit…and um, yeah, even though we were given the book, I lost my copy and when I went to the library, I couldn’t find a copy because, like, I guess some other people must have lost their copies too, so all the copies were, like, out. So anyway, I really, really need to get this movie today before I flunk English lit…

…like, again.

Peace out, y’all. Holla.

One response to “Cinematic Emergency: THE Red Box is temporarily unavailable

  1. Out of service. Hum…

    I guess they are still trying to free the last sucker that returned a movie and had a complaint..