There are two things I usually don’t do on this blog: politics and vulgarity. Today, however, I am going to do one of them.
Half a beat…
Yep. Dodged a motherfucking bullet there unlike someone we know who’s been making headlines lately. You thought I was going to go all politico on your asses, didn’t you?
Why so vulgar? To be honest, I don’t know, but our cat, Seamus, brings it out in us. To wit, this morning, more than once, I heard my wife say:
“Goddammit Seamus.” As if Goddammit was his first name.
However, she’s not the only one in whom the furry little (actually big) bastard brings out the vulgarity. A few of my own nicknames for Seamus:
The thing is we don’t always use those terms in anger either, although we’re not happy when he likes to knock glasses (now mostly plastic cups since all of our glasses are in shards at the local dump). Sometimes we use those terms affectionately like when I’m playing roughhouse with him using an oven mitt that only protects my hand and now not even that since he’s ripped a hole in the mitt.
Aside: if you saw my right forearm, you’d think I need a falconry glove to protect me from his teeth and (back)claws, except I’m thinking the $50 to $60 might be a little exorbitant especially considering all the conversation his scratches generate when I’m working at the library. “‘I have a cutting problem,” I usually tell patrons, or some other lame ass joke. Aside from the aside: I’m the master of the lame ass joke, especially when I’m working at the library. If a patron pauses after saying “I’m looking for a book…” before he says what specific book he is looking for, I usually say, “Well, you’ve come to the right place.” I’m a laugh riot, all right.
Before you think our cat is this evil beast, let me tell you that when people come to visit, he’ll curl right up beside them and purr sweetly– and he has the weakest meow you’ve ever heard for looking like such a brute.
He really is a sweetheart…
…except when he’s an asshole.
I now have a fan page on Facebook. If you’re not already a fan, come be one and you’ll get not only feeds from this blog there, but also my “microblog,” Unfinished, on Posterous. I’ve tried (unsuccessfully) consolidating that one and this one, but have been unsuccessful due to the incompatibilities between the two post by e-mail features of each, so I’m just going to keep them separate. The Posterous posts are more just “one-offs” anyway instead of fully-formed thoughts as the posts here are intended — and sometimes actually are.