Flowers on the wall that don’t bother me at all, but they bother my wife

Since we moved into house where we live, we haven’t had any artwork on the main wall in our living room. It’s only been about five years.

The other day The Wife received some fine art, in fact, some mighty fine art, so I decided to place it on the wall.

Mona Lisa and other shit

Of course, I didn’t want to put new holes in the wall so I used pre-existing ones — and blue stick pins that would add texture the original artists had not intended. I used them to give the viewer perspective between himself (or herself or itself, in the case of an animal, such as say, our cat, who might see some of this anyway, at least the greens might be accentuated for him, I mean, it) and the wall.

“Ah, there’s the wall — and here I am, about 10 feet or 20 feet away from the wall, depending on where I am standing. I really don’t know where I’m standing and can’t seem to gain any perspective from those damned pins. They’re too freaking small…or not quite large enough, depending on where I am standing.”

The viewer can’t go much farther than that, because of the space limitations of the room in which the pieces are exhibited.

The pieces are, from left to right:

  1. Some Ugly Broad Who Looks Like A Man by Bob Jones…no, not that Bob Jones or his son and not Bobby Jones either. Actually, this artist preferred to be known as The Real Robert Jones, so as to differentiate himself from all the poseurs out there.
  2. The Grand Canal Near the Rialto Bridge, Venice by Canaletto.
  3. The Plains of Heaven by John Martin.
  4. and last but not least, The Water-Lily Pond by Claud Jones, a distant relative to Robert Jones, except Claude was Canadian as one can tell by the odd spelling of the more familiar Claude.

I only realized this morning after taking down the pieces to see the names of each piece and the artists, which I faithfully transcribed here for future posterity, that I had placed the one piece upside down.

The bridge is not The Bridge of Death as depicted here:

The bridge is a Japanese foot-bridge over the water-lily pond in Giverny and the artist evidently couldn’t get it right the first time as he painted about half a dozen of the pieces.

Silly prat. Didn’t he know Trix are for kids?

Inclusion of clown just for The Wife who loves, no, I tell you, lurves clowns. 😉

Oh, and yes, the inspiration for this post came from this song, and actually this is the version I like of it.

16 responses to “Flowers on the wall that don’t bother me at all, but they bother my wife

  1. Pingback: A look back at January 2011 here on an unfinished person (in this unfinished universe) | an unfinished person (in this unfinished universe)

  2. That is too funny we have an anime wall scroll as a window covering. I don’t do decorating and if my hubby wants to I really don’t care as long as he cleans it. I did have to make him move his mech models because he wouldn’t dust them, otherwise they would still be displayed in the living room or dining room.
    I see nothing wrong with your display.

  3. Since you’re acting all arty now, how about framing them?

  4. Don’t quit your day job and become a decorator.

    I fart in your general direction but I’m not getting on that bridge.

    Clowns? HELL NO!

  5. Interesting array of artwork. I am wondering what was hung in existing holes previously. All but the mona lisa seem stair stepped which makes sense. She’s the odd one out.

  6. unfinishedrambler

    Ah, Sarah, that is exactly what I was trying to say, but in my less sophisticated way: about the balancing. Nicely worded.

    The Wife won’t let me leave the bridge there. Plus I’ve already flipped it right side up.

  7. Don’t worry NYEMT, the thumb tabs balance out the sophistication of the prints. I think he should leave the bridge upside down and see how many people notice. I’m with Wife on the ML, spooky eyes…

  8. Um…hello? You live in rural north central Pennsyltucky. Isn’t there a law that says at least 25% of any artwork hanging in your abode has to be painted on velvet? And must include at least one Elvis? I’ll bet there’s somewhere within ten minutes of your house where you can buy a suitable piece. And I’ll go double or nothing that in the summer, you can do it without getting out of your car. While you pump your gas. 🙂

    • unfinishedrambler

      Hey NYEMT, I just saw this same comment on Facebook. I’m not replying again. Screw that. 🙂

  9. I’m sorry, but this is one of those times where your thoughtful Use of Existing Wall Holes makes it look like crazy people live here.
    Mona’s coming down before I give the catsitters a key. For serious.

  10. unfinishedrambler

    Oh, yeah, The Wife doesn’t like my asymmetrical placement of the pieces. Go figure.