Please welcome Mrs. I’m-Gonna-Sing-On-My-Answering-Machine-For-The-First-Part-Of-My-Message.
Yesterday I had the fun task of calling up folks whose books, CDs or, in some cases, DVDs (a $1 a day), are late. Nine times out of 10, I get an answering machine. When I called the patron above, I received the following singing message:
“He is able, more than able,
to accomplish what concerns me today.
He is able, more than able,
to handle anything that comes my way.”
Followed by “You’ve reached the parsonage of….”
I’m religious as the next guy, well, except for maybe this guy:
But regardless, I’m semi-religious. However, the first thought through my head was something along these lines:
I wonder if He is able to help you get your damned overdue books back on time, huh? Well, is He?
And then I thought:
A-ha, there it is, it’s because you’re reading damned books. Maybe that’s why he isn’t helping you get the books back on time?
If only she had taken out the expurgated version of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, she’d be A-OK with Jesus.
Of course, shhhh, don’t tell anyone. All we have is the unexpurgated version.
Maybe we’re the ones that are going to be damned.
At least, I didn’t use the word “nigger” in this post. Then I’d the one that was damned…