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“So, Doc, tell me, is it safe?”

This is a guest post from my sister, Lisa, because she thought it might offend the readers of her own blog, Boondock Ramblings. However, she thought y’all were beyond offense, so here goes:

After telling a story about pinching my boob in the desk drawer at work  (Yes. Yes I did.), my co-worker launched into a tale about anal sex.

Yes. Yes she did.

“Let me tell you what I asked the doctor…”

No. Really. Please don’t.­

Female pelvic cavity

“I was in the doctor’s office about my IBS, you know how I have IBS and she had those  drawings up there, you know, of your anus and stuff and I asked her if it was safe.”

“Safe?”

“You know…anal sex…I asked her if it was safe.”

In case you are wondering, her doctor said it can cause some negative long-term effects. Just in case you were thinking of..well, you know what I mean.

I must have looked as horrified as I felt when she finished her “story” because she said — as if to make me less uncomfortable:

“Not for me. I mean for my daughter…”

I was even more horrified that she was asking for her former (maybe current) crack whore 21-year old daughter.

Instead of hanging out to say things like, “Are you serious?” or “Did you just say that to me?”, I immediately backed away and went back to my desk to pretend the conversation never happened.

The next day I asked my co-worker what she had thought about that engaging conversation.

“Wasn’t that nice?” she asked, deadpan –a very bored looking expression on her face. “Yeah I had to hear about that last week…”

And, sad to say, these are stories we often hear from this particular co-worker. Each of them just as uncomfortable and awkward than the one before that.

13 responses to ““So, Doc, tell me, is it safe?”

  1. Pingback: A look back at January 2011 here on an unfinished person (in this unfinished universe) | an unfinished person (in this unfinished universe)

  2. Lisa, with advanced age, all people have increased gas, not just gay ones.

  3. Actually, how many of those gay men have increased gas? 🙂 It can loosen your anus muscles over time causing increased gas and episodes of loose bowels. From what I was told by my co-worker later. And no, you don’t want to know what my expression was after that one. It was somewhere between horror and…well, horror.

    Also, Unfinished Person..did you draw the poop on that diagram? Very realistic.

  4. Um……

    Oh, my, my.

  5. Filter? How about an automatic “gag” reflex

  6. Oh for heaven’s sake, it’s safe enough. I mean, we’ve all tried it, haven’t we? I lived in San Francisco for years and there are plenty of old gay men living there. I don’t see any long term problems with them. I mean, they are old so how bad could it be? Nice little article, Bryan’s sister Lisa!

  7. Health problems for..the girl?

    If that’s the case, we’re just going to file this under ‘stuff I know about yet choose to ignore for my own pleasure.’

  8. Filter. Some folks need to come with an automatic, built-in filter, where a I’m-At-Work switch triggers on its own.

    I can only imagine the expression on your sister’s face when this conversation was through.