Oh, it’s a jolly holiday with Wally

Simcoe New Wal-Mart in Simcoe, Ontario.

Image via Wikipedia

One of my blogging/Facebook friends, Sue Seese at Farvel Cargo, said if you’ve ever in need of a blog post, that all you have to do is go to Walmart.

Today The Wife and I went there and as always, Wallyworld didn’t disappoint…at least, in regards to blog fodder.

Observations from today:

1. We almost never can get out of Walmart for under $100. Today’s total was about $125, I think the last time was closer to $100 and the time before that was about the same. Yes, I got a few new pair of pants for $30 and the wife got baking materials and, as she puts it, “ladies’ materials,” but still $125? Yikes. The Wife and I are just resigned that Walmart is one of those necessary evils in life, like Google and Amazon (hissing sound).

2. While The Wife was getting her “ladies’ materials” and I was picking up my mental pick-me-ups at the pharmacy, a woman in an aisle in between us was arguing loudly on a cell phone.

“I’m trying to find it. Leave me alone. I don’t know where it is. WAIT A MINUTE.”

I later encountered her at various and sundry locations through the store where I learned that she thought her hair was all ratty and that she wasn’t dressed appropriately to go visit with whomever she was talking on the phone. For the record, her hair did look “all ratty” and she wasn’t dressed appropriately for anywhere other than Walmart or on her couch in front of her TV. The only reason I noticed that her hair looked “all ratty” and that she wasn’t dressed appropriately to go visit anyone (although for some reason, I imagined the person on the other end probably was dressed just like her) was because she mentioned it. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have noticed her at all.

3. As I was leaving, behind me I heard this whistle:

I turned around, half-expecting to see something like this:

Elle Driver

Image via Flickr

Instead all I saw was this:

going to walmart to visit my brother the walma...

Image by terryleestoudt via Flickr

Nope, that wasn’t scary.

26 responses to “Oh, it’s a jolly holiday with Wally

  1. I am not leaving your blog. I am leaving it up all night. And playing the whistling song.

  2. Thanks so much for the link Brian and I’m so glad to help by sending you to blogger heaven. Two visits ago when I went to buy ladies materials, with three boys and a husband we just call them “things”, I stumbled upon 4 teenage boys standing in front of the condom display. This is what you call priceless. I was by myself and had no one to provide “cover” for me so I could take a picture, very dissappointing, very. A lost opportunity. I need to invest in some kind of secret agent camera hidden in a pen or something.
    Glad to see Gary Busey back in the world and I see he’s sporting quite a bit of WalMart flare, good for him.

    • unfinishedrambler

      I actually call them “things” too, but The Wife was getting fancy the other night with her diction. πŸ™‚ I didn’t think to take a camera. Well, there’s always next time…but of course, how to do it secretly.

    • hahaha… priceless !

      I remember those days … I was about 12 when I actually paid attention to condom packages. I was standing in line with my dad at a pharmacy. And there was a display right next to me.
      “Strawberry Flavour” … “Banana Flavour” … “Grape Flavour” … and I thought that was an unusual packaging for candy.

      I took one off the shelf and began examining the box closely which felt surprisingly light … and that’s when I saw the words “Condoms”.

      I knew what they were for but … I was bewildered … I hadn’t discovered … oral sex yet !

  3. It’s pretty damn funny that Gary Busey was your greeter at Walmart. That dude’s star has really fallen since the latest motorcycle accident.

    Sorry you spent $125, too. That’s about $65 more than average (don’t ask me how I know, but I do), and roughly $125 more than anybody ought to spend at Walmart. Not that I’m immune to their pitches. It seems like we end up there at least once a month. I’ll admit it’s entertaining, though. I think of it as a circus of the macabre. It worries me a little, because I can’t but wonder if people aren’t looking at me and thinking, “Holy crap, where do these people come from?”

    • unfinishedrambler

      I thought it was odd that Gary Busey was our greeter too. Very strange, but we live in a strange part of the world: Pennsylvania, anything can happen here.

      Wait, you think you’re above the people at Walmart? Is that what you’re saying? Do you go dressed in a tuxedo? I must be missing something…or do you just go with your nose in the air? πŸ˜‰

  4. The Walmart near where I live is hardly ever crowded, except at this time of the year.
    I zoom through it every day, from the east entrance to the west exit and into the mall for coffee. And I don’t bump into anyone. The only thing that slows me down is those bollards at the exit. I am almost as wide as a Walmart shopping-cart

    • unfinishedrambler

      I don’t think so, Jaffer: about you being wide as a Walmart shopping cart. You’re young and svelte from all the photos I’ve seen of you. πŸ™‚

  5. I HATE Walmart – Besides the fact that you can’t go in there and not spend a ton of money, the amount of time it actually takes you to find a damn parking spot makes you insane by the time you go in there. Once, I’ve been to Walmart once and will never go again. I’m married with children so I have enough blog fodder for 1000 blogs.

  6. My dark place is Target. I once went for garbage bags and walked out with a patio set. I think they pump something into the air.

    • unfinishedrambler

      Luckily, we don’t have a Target anywhere near us…whew. Is it more oxygen that they pump into the air? I’m trying to remember where I heard about more oxygen being pumped into the air at stores…hmmm. It will come to me later.

  7. I’m scared. I’m glad you’re not.


    If it’s not the people, it’s the greeters or the cashiers!

    I think WallyWorld has mind-altering chemicals in the central heat/air causing us to spend more money!

    • unfinishedrambler

      Both you and TheOfficeScribe are on to something. Yes, I’m reading and responding to comments backwards. πŸ™‚

  8. Look out! They’re going to Kill Bill! Run for your life! Good thing your name’s not Bill.

  9. I am so jealous! I have never been to a Walmart. Not even once in my whole long life. You guys have all the fun. We don’t even have a K Mart here that I know of. I’ve been to Paris, Rome and Moscow but not to Walmart. Life isn’t fair.

  10. So when can we expect to see you guys on that People of Walmart website?

  11. Oh my gosh, Wal-Mart is a GREAT stomping ground for blog material! I actually blogged about it myself on a post around 3 weeks ago…had to go stock up on Christmas supplies, and within 5 minutes, had $15 of materials in my cart! They saw me coming a mile away, and put ALL the Christmas candy in the front of the store. Damn you, Wal-Mart…damn you!

    • unfinishedrambler

      Walmart is the place of the damned. You only have to walk around for…about five minutes and you learn that. It’s a sad, sad place. Maybe it’s the horror that keeps drawing us back.