Mr. It’s-Just-This-War-And-That-Lying-Son-Of-A-Bitch-Rendell

Graphic for button from New Media Consortium on Flickr

This week’s Patron of the Week comes once again from the Land of Unsolicited Political Diatribes.

Please welcome Mr. It’s-Just-This-War-And-That-Lying-Son-Of-A-Bitch-Rendell.

It was 10 after 5 p.m. yesterday when he asked me if we were closing early. I told him if we were closing early, we’d already have been closed at 5 as that was when we closed on Fridays and Saturdays. Mondays through Fridays, we are open from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., I informed him. He said he just wasn’t sure with budget cuts at libraries across the state how late we were open. He asked me if I knew whose fault it was for the budget cuts, and when I said that I didn’t, he proceeded to tell me:

“That pig Rendell.”

As is my customary response when a patron goes off on a rant, I said:

“Hmmmm.”

That usually leads the patron to continue to rant even more than he or she already has. Such was the case last night as this week’s Patron of the Week let me know that our fine governor had allowed gas leases on state park lands and that he had given the money to two different entities. What were those two entities, you very well may ask? Well, he told me:

“Welfare and The Mafia.”

“Hmmmm.”

Personally, I never connected welfare and the Mafia, but maybe that’s just me. I mean, I would connect the Mafia more with ticket scalping than with welfare. Of course, one of my late grandfathers used to connect raccoons with welfare too, at least, that’s how my adolescent mind understood it…well, really didn’t understand it and still don’t with my slightly more mature mind. Makes as much sense as “Welfare and the Mafia” to me.

Maybe I’m just not connecting the dots. If I were, maybe I’d see things for what they really are:

10 responses to “Mr. It’s-Just-This-War-And-That-Lying-Son-Of-A-Bitch-Rendell

  1. Pingback: Trying to fall into The Big Sleep while not falling into it, if you know what I mean (TSS) | an unfinished person (in this unfinished universe)

  2. Damn! It just goes to show you how naive we Americans can be! Here it’s laid out so perfectly and so logically that it can’t be anything but the absolute truth. How simple really! But I still don’t get the part about raccoons and the mafia (or was it raccoons and welfare?) well, either way you slice it, now I can see how it cannot be a coincidence! I’m thinking of wrapping tinfoil all around our windows. I mean, it can’t hurt, right?

    • unfinishedrambler

      I’d explain about the “coons” and welfare, at least what my late grandfather thought, but it doesn’t make much sense and isn’t worth the effort.

      Tinfoil around the windows? I hadn’t heard of that. I’ll have to try that. I thought you wore them on your heads like in the movie Signs.

  3. I think you may be onto a major conspiracy here, Un. Contact Mark Lane and Jim Marrs right now. I’ll send you a doughnut.

  4. Couple of things.

    Thing the First: I never cease to be amazed by the glorious, batshit craziness of human beings. It is what truly separates us from the lower mammals.

    Thing the Second:

    There is a MONTREAL MAFIA? A Quebecois La Cosa Nostra?
    That explains so much for me. I KNEW Celine Dion was some kind of punishment, I just wasn’t sure who meted it out. Cruel and unusual, that is. Cruel and unusual.

  5. Let me help: the (Montréal) Mafia and its connections to high offices is known in our welfare state of Canada.