When the Hershey’s Kissmobile came to town

My wife learned via Facebook that the Hershey’s Kissmobile was going to be in our town today, so naturally I had to go see it for myself, mainly because I hoped to get free candy.

Here it is parked in front of a local hotel:

Hershey Kissmobile

Wisely, the marketing crew at Hershey's opted not to use only two Kisses for their Kissmobile. Speaking of that...or not, this picture now reminds me of a scene in Total Recall...anywho...

Unfortunately, the crew was nowhere to be seen, so I went inside the lobby of the hotel, thinking they might be in there at a table with free samples. Alas, they were not and when I inquired at the waitress station for the hotel restaurant, the maitre d’ told me that the crew was back having lunch in the back room with the local Rotary Club. Like a child, I told her that I came down for free samples and she said I’d have to wait until after they were done, but maybe then they’d have free samples…if I was good.

When I approached the waitress station, I sneezed. Only as I was walking back to the car –and after I had been talking to a woman on the street who was getting a photo for her daughter– did I realize that I had a giant loogey, or goober, or gigantic piece of snot for those who might not be familiar with the other terms, on the front of my shirt. I told the woman I didn’t have children, but was looking to get the candy for me and she informed me that her daughter was 20, but didn’t believe her that the Kissmobile was in town. I might have imagined it, but I think she looked down at my shirt too.

I imagine her thinking: “Oh, the poor mentally handicapped man. Isn’t that sad how he’s come down to get free samples of Hershey’s Kisses and he can’t even clean the snot off his shirt?” I’m surprised she didn’t hand me a quarter for my troubles, or give me money to buy some Hershey’s Kisses.


Image via Wikipedia

Next time something like this happens, maybe I’ll just sneeze ahead of time on my shirt and try to engender sympathy. Who knows? Maybe I’ll make out like a bandit. Hopefully, it won’t be the Wienermobile, though. Personally, just watching hot dog eating contests make me vomit just a little bit in my mouth, and I’m sure filling myself on free samples of weiners would evoke the same response. At least, though, unlike today, I would come away with something for my troubles.

Er, yeah, here’s the inspiration for the title…because I love Hershey’s Kisses? I don’t know. The mind is a terrible thing to waste, but I seem to be pretty good at wasting it.

20 responses to “When the Hershey’s Kissmobile came to town

  1. Great story, Rambler! I’m glad you’re not afraid to let your inner child out in public, snot on the shirt and all.

    I myself got to see the Wienermobile in person here in Denver a few years back. I was hoping for a free wiener, but I didn’t get one.

    • unfinishedrambler

      Inner child: Well, that’s one way to put it, I guess. I’m glad he doesn’t get out more often than this, though.

      The Wienermobile actually was in our town too, but I missed it. The Wife had photos, but she’s lost them…no, really. I think if I had one of those photos, instead of this found photo, that would have turned this whole post around ;).

  2. Also a huge fan of chocolate — how can a person NOT like chocolate? — but I am very lowbrow. Unlike Linda I actually prefer Hershey’s to Godiva, Swiss and Cadbury.

    Those other chocolates are too smooth; Hershey’s stuff has a grainy texture that I like. I also grew up in a working-class suburb of Detroit so maybe that explains it.

  3. You didn’t really scare me that much. Just enough to watch my p’s and q’s around you. And frankly, that’s not my style. I am a choc o holic. I adore the stuff, but I like the Godiva, the Swiss, the Cadbury. I’m a choc o snob too.

  4. Rambler, now here I am. I really don’t like Hershey’s Kisses, but I understand I’ m in the minority here. I don’t like goobers on shirts either, but it could have been worse, Dear. In fact, we all know it has been worse from time to time. Why have I never been here before? You have a nice place. But I think you scared me before. I’m over that now.

    • unfinishedrambler

      You don’t like Hershey’s Kisses? Really. Whoa. There’s so many different kinds, not even one of the flavors? Personally I love the peanut butter Kisses.

      As for being worse, yes, but not since I was…well…much younger.

      I scared you really? That might have been my alter ego, Unfinished Person. He’s the serious one. 🙂

  5. OMG! I almost peed on myself after reading this post!

  6. Bless you.

    Free kisses?

    Sounds germy.


    • unfinishedrambler

      I realized later that it probably was good that I didn’t go back to interrupt the luncheon and tell the crew, “Hey, I want my free kisses.” That might not have ended well.

  7. Did I ever tell you that when you tell these stories you make me think of Patrick on Sponge Bob?

  8. What is so special about your stupid town? I want the Kissmobile to come here!

  9. I don’t know but a Kissmobile with 2 kisses might attract a whole different class of people. Thank God it wasn’t a truck with four guys with painted faces. *sings I Just Wanna Rock And Roll All Night*

    • unfinishedrambler

      I thought about the KISSmobile too. That would have attracted a different class of people, although with our town, it would have been the same.

  10. I’ve never heard of the Kissmobile, but I’d have had my hand out for samples, too. Dark Chocolate! On our way back from Florida recently, we did the the Wienermobile on the Interstate. Too bad I couldn’t get a picture.

    • unfinishedrambler

      We got pictures when it was in our town — yes, we’ve had the Kissmobile AND the Wienermobile, but The Wife forgot to post the photos. 😦

  11. Hahaha – looks like you were really low on sugar to have been unaware of your being presentable.

    Does the Kissmobile also have a kissing booth à le Fonzi ?

    • unfinishedrambler

      Actually, the problem was that I hadn’t anything to eat yet. That certainly didn’t help.

      Alas, no kissing booth. It did have a booth, but it was just playing a video about the history of Hershey’s Kisses over and over again…boooooring.

  12. *sigh*
    Fourteen years of dignified bliss.