Honorary Patron of the Week: Mr. Doesn’t-Know-Which-Side-Of-A-Stamp-An-Envelope-Goes-On

Graphic for button from New Media Consortium on Flickr

Today’s Patron of the Week comes from the Land of Blond Moments Even Though He’s Not Really Blond.

Please say hello to Mr. Doesn’t-Know-Which-Side-Of-A-Stamp-An-Envelope-Goes-On. He also doesn’t know when to use hyphenated words and when not to use hyphenated words.

Why is he honorary as the title suggests? Well, let’s just say that he not only is a patron, but also is a member of the staff too. Yep, after the obvious clue there in the second paragraph, you probably guessed it, it’s me.

One of my jobs today was to prepare to mail our overdue fines, which involves placing a print-out of a patron’s record with a list of the missing item or items, his or her fines on it into an envelope. It also involves placing a stamp onto that envelope, along with a return address, to mail to the patron.

I did that this morning, but then I noticed a note on the circulation desk this afternoon from another staff member about one of the delinquent patrons. The note said the patron couldn’t find the book and wanted to know the cost of replacing it. So my supervisor tallied up that total and proceeded to put a note with that total on the print-out in the envelope, still waiting to be mailed.

However, when she went to get the envelopes I already had sealed and onto which I already had placed the postage stamps, she noticed something that made her exclaim:

“I could slap you upside the head.”

Or words very similar to that.

Front of an envelope mailed in the U.S. in 190...

Image via Wikipedia from 1906: Back in the days before e-mail, when people knew on which side of an envelope to place a stamp (and also knew not to use dangling prepositions in their sentence structures).

I had placed the postage stamp on the wrong side of the envelope AND the return address on the opposite side.

So this afternoon, another one of my jobs was removing the print-outs from the envelopes, placing them into new envelopes, cutting the stamps off the old envelopes and then using a glue stick to paste the stamps back onto the new envelopes. The only difference this time was that I placed the stamps on the right side of the envelopes.

Now you may ask, “How can anyone be that blond without actually being blond?”

All I can say is that (and I think this pretty much goes without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway) I am not the one who sends out the monthly bills for our household.

For those of you who aren’t blond, do you ever have blond moments? For those of you who are blond, you don’t need to respond obviously. πŸ˜‰ However, feel free to share anyway those moments where you are…well, yourself.

11 responses to “Honorary Patron of the Week: Mr. Doesn’t-Know-Which-Side-Of-A-Stamp-An-Envelope-Goes-On

  1. Not me. But as I’ve grown older I’ve developed that seniors’ malady 0f CRAFT: Can’t Remember A F#@*ing Thing!

  2. I’m not blond either, but a couple of weeks ago I walked into a lamp post with my knee while looking behind me. So now I am a non-blond on crutches.

    • unfinishedrambler

      I thought I typed up a response earlier, but it was lost.

      I had a story for you, but now it’s gone.

      But ouch, I can imagine that hurts.

  3. No picture of your mistake?

    • unfinishedrambler

      Nope. I’m a bad blogger. What can I say?

      Actually I did have a cellphone camera with me, but didn’t even think about it. It was toward the end of the day. All I was thinking about at that point was getting out.

      I wasn’t thinking blog post either until later when I told my wife the story over dinner. Then I knew I had no choice but to name myself the honorary patron of the week.

  4. Ahem….Those are referred to as SENIOR moments..



  5. You don’t even come from a family of blonds. No blonds. All brunettes. Except me….oh crap. Are you going to tell me I’m adopted? AGAIN?!

    • unfinishedrambler

      Did you miss the part “Land of Blond Moments Even Though He’s Not Really Blond”? Maybe you’re having a “blond moment” too. πŸ˜‰

  6. I can’t help you. I’m the one who had to mail a Get Well card with a little lip gloss in it (to a 14 yo) THREE times before I got the postage right.

    A GET WELL card.