The worst part of waking up

When I wrote about my dad, my sister and I going to our first NASCAR race earlier this month (first three posts), I purposefully left out one part of the story.

The beginning.

In the beginning, God created blah blah blah, but the most important thing he created next to man (and woman, of course) was this bean:

Coffee bean

Image via Wikipedia

Without it, there would be no Juan Valdez and, more germane to this post than Juan, there would be no craving for its rejuvenating properties, especially in the morning…

…all of which brings us to my father.

On the morning of the day that we went to Watkins glen, my father was, as my sister puts it, “a bear,” and by that, she doesn’t mean a cute cuddly teddy bear. Quite the opposite. Without infusion of the liquid that is produced from the aforementioned bean, my father turns into this:

Grizzly bear in Denali National Park

Image via Wikipedia

Only in my father’s case, he isn’t leisurely on the plain. He’s standing up on two feet and baring his teeth. However, when I mentioned to him that maybe we should stop for coffee, he denied his addiction:

It’s not the coffee. It just takes a while for me to get going.

which then escalated through stages, not dissimilar to the stages of grief:

Anger, especially after we pick up my sister and both she and I mention that maybe really we should stop for coffee: “I just want everybody to leave me alone.”

Bargaining: “I can stop anytime. I don’t need it.”

Depression: “I don’t even want to go to this race now.”

(Okay, that last part was my sister after not dealing with my father’s bear-like qualities at O-dark thirty.)

Acceptance finally did happen. “Okay, we’ll pull over here.” But still with a hint of denial. “…but it’s not because I need coffee. We need gas.”

However, after getting the gas and the liquid that is produced from the aforementioned bean, he turned into this:

Teddy bear, born in Germany about 1954

Image via Wikipedia

Coinky dinks? Um, I don’t think so.

* I didn’t even mention my wife’s addiction to The Bean. That’s a whole other post for another time, which I’m sure, she can’t wait to read. Take above photo of grizzly bear and multiply by 1,000 for what she’s like without her morning coffee…oh, and yeah, they’re definitely standing and baring all their teeth.

22 responses to “The worst part of waking up

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  3. Scene: Kitchen of family household. Daughter pours herself a cup of “coffee” though adding tons of milk and sugar.
    Dad walks in, looks at daughter and scowls.
    “You’re drinking coffee?! Who taught you how to drink coffee?”
    “Leave me alone. I like coffee.”
    “Since when? Tell me. Who taught you how to drink coffee?!”
    “You! All right?! I got it from watching YOU!”

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  5. Oh. lots of days I have 0 coffee. Today being one of them.

  6. Thanks A lot. 🙂

  7. I am quite certain I cannot go a full day without coffee. It’s really hell when I have my physical and I have to fast for 12 hours to get blood drawn. I got no problem with fasting, it’s not having the coffee in the morning that bites.

    You could tell me coffee was poison, show me scientific documentation and I would nod knowingly as I sipped my pipin’ hot poison, with a little cream.

    • unfinishedrambler

      That last paragraph is really, really sad, at least in the eyes of this non-coffee drinker. However, if it makes you cranky not having your ecoffee, I’d rather you have than not. I’ve seen what happens with folks like you who don’t: Bruce Banner turning into The Hulk. No thank you.

  8. I’m a bear, or more accurately the word that rhymes with witch, when I don’t get my coffee. And just try taking away my Diet Coke.

  9. I don’t believe that about your wife. Anybody that can “bear” to listen to Barry Manilow to the degree she does… well I don’t know, I used my pun and haven’t got an end to this.

  10. Coinky dink?

    I love that word! hee hee

    Not a coffee drinker, but I can relate on a DDP level.

    • unfinishedrambler

      I was going to say “Coincidence,” but then opted for something a little more…ahem…informal.

      I wasn’t catching on to what you were saying with DDP right away, but thanks to Wikipedia, by process of elimination, I figured it out. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DDP 😉

      • I read the Wiki page and I *still* don’t know what she was talking about.

        • unfinishedrambler

          It’s the guessing part that’s part of the fun. 😉

          Okay, I’ll tell you: it’s Diet Dr. Pepper. Quirky is a known addict, which I and her readers know, because of her talking about it on her blog. Sorry, sometimes I forget that not everyone is in on the inside jokes…and also that my comment thread is fair game for everyone to read. I’ll work on being more “user-friendly” in the future. 🙂

  11. I am laughing…and on a MONDAY! Thank you for this, seriously B, you’re writing just keeps getting better, even for a Yankees fan!
    Gayle

    • unfinishedrambler

      Writing knows no sports boundaries. I like Kara’s writing on her blog too and she’s a Red Sox fan. 😉