The "I Need To Be Offended and Crotchety Like I Need A Hole In The Head" Offensive

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This past week was a special event over at Humorbloggers dot com with the Humor Blog Roast of Chelle of The Offended Blogger and Da Old Man from Crotchety Old Man Yells At Cars. Participating thus far were ettarose of Sanity on Edge (Chelle and Joe still to come tomorrow), nonamedufus (Chelle and Joe), Reforming Geek of Confessions of A Reforming Geek (Chelle and Joe), Quirky Loon of Musings of a Quirky Loon (Chelle and Joe), Kirsten of The Soccer Mom Files (Chelle and Joe).

All of those blogs who are the roasters are worth reading. The roastees? Well, that’s a matter of opinion, usually not a good one either. To wit, Chelle’s an anti-Semite (I mean look at one of her other blogs here) and Joe, well, he is a hypochondriac.

He’s always talking about his being in the hospital, and he even wants you to give him a call at the hospital so he can talk about his alleged problems some more. If you want to hear his litany of alleged illnesses, here’s his phone number: 732-650-8419. Give the crazy old fart a call. He’ll probably enjoy talking your ear off. “Crazy Old Bastard Yells At Anyone Who Calls Him” should be the name of his blog.

As for Chelle, in addition to her being an anti-Semite, every post is an offensive one like this: “The ‘I’m a white, blond upper-middle class woman who lives on a ranch in Idaho the size of Connecticut who pretends to be a tough redneck woman but really isn’t’ Offensive.” “This time, it’s personal,” could be her motto, judging by the number of “personal” offensives she has taken. Jesus (whom she thinks is a taco truck driver, I’m not sure who’s crazier, she or Da Old Man), Mohammed (oh, don’t get her started on that) and Buddha (whom she probably thinks is her gardener because he does topiaries), get over yourself already, lady and I use that term loosely.

Even Chelle herself admitted a couple of weeks ago in the chat room over at HBDC that she really isn’t as tough as she makes out to be, and I quote:

“I am such a sissy. I played paint ball once. THAT shit hurts.”

“I talk a good story. I’m really a big puss.”

Her next post: The “I Confess To Being a Big Puss” Offensive.

Then out of left field, she says this:

“I like black guys.”

TF?

She also likes big monster trucks and a German band called Rammstein whose latest album comes out this week: Liebe ist für alle da (roughly translated “There is love for everyone”) and whose first single off the album, offensively enough, is titled “Pussy.”

Surprisingly, Hitler doesn’t like it:

Maybe there is hope for Chelle yet if Hitler doesn’t like it. Maybe she’ll change her anti-Semitic ways soon.

Now if only there could be hope for Da Old Man and his hypochondriac ways.

To see a site for humor bloggers that Chelle created: Humor Bloggers. Sadly, I’m a member there too, well, at least, I was — before this post 😉

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