Cocaine Blues

As a correspondent for a newspaper, I pick up court reports from a local district justice office every couple of weeks.

Yes, it’s that slow around here, and most of the time the reports are, sad to say, DUIs.

However, every once in a while, I come across those special cases. This week was such a case.

In a report about Billy Bob stealing a gazebo (no, not strange enough yet) was this tidbit:

According to police, Jethro said Billy Bob showed him a receipt from a man named Slick for $2,000 for the gazebo.

On June 27, Slick was interviewed and denied selling the gazebo to Billy Bob. However, Slick said, according to court records, that he had signed a receipt for $200 for cocaine from Billy Bob.

On Sept. 16, Slick took a polygraph and it was determined that he had nothing to do with the theft of the gazebo and furniture, according to police.

As I was reading the report, I, probably like you, did a double-take.


I had to read over that several times. I can just hear Slick saying to the policeman who interviewed him:

“No, that wasn’t for a gazebo, man. That was for cocaine, you silly.”

Then saying:

“Oops, did I say ‘cocaine’? I mean Co…ca C0la. Yeah, that’s what it was.”


“Um, you said ‘cocaine.'”


“Aw, okay, I’m come clean with you, man; it was cocaine.”


“Well, now that we have that cleared up…about that gazebo…hey, wait a minute, not so fast there, Slick…”

Funny thing is that the report didn’t mention if Slick ever was charged with anything, although I guess he could be lying about the cocaine…of course, he did take a polygraph test.

Of course, it’s not admissible in court.

At least, he didn’t shoot anybody.

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