In Tuesday’s post, I joked about starting another alliterative-themed day, Thirsty Thursday, where I would review microbrews. So today, for one day only (because as I said Tuesday, I like girlie drinks normally), I am presenting Thirsty Thursday in the spirit of Review Spew.
Tröegs Mad Elf
This past winter, as I was watching the NFL playoffs at a local restaurant/bar because The Missus and I don’t have cable or satellite (we survive, though, on Netflix, thanks for asking), I decided one afternoon to try one of the said drinks pictured above.
I had heard it had a little more kick (11% alcohol by volume) than other beers and thought since I had walked to the restaurant/bar, I could handle whatever punch it packed, especially since I was going to be there for back-to-back playoff games.
So I order it and my first warning should have been that it came in a 21-ounce glass. However, I didn’t heed the warning and proceeded to quaff the beer as I would any other beer or Nyquil Cough Syrup, in other words, heartily, but with a little bit of trepidation because I usually make a face after drinking beer or Nyquil because of the bitterness (in case of the beer) and taste (in case of the Nyquil, even with cherry flavoring, it’s nasty).
I was pleasantly surprised that I didn’t have to make the face as the beer was as good as Tröegs’ website (click on photo above) advertised:
The combination of Cherries, Honey, and Chocolate Malts delivers gentle fruits and subtle spices.
Not only did it deliver that, but also a buzz that this lightweight drinker (I think the wife says “wuss” or “pansy” or “pantywaist”) couldn’t shake for the next few hours, forcing him not to have any more alcohol for the evening. It was like the alcohol was injected into my veins, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
As I stumbled up the sidewalk to home, I was still a little woozy like I feel after taking Nyquil at night and waking up the next morning, and the only two words (maybe three when I added the word “Batman!” for some reason) that could form in my consciousness were these:
Unfortunately, you can only get this beer in November and December, but believe me who is Mr. Lightweight Wuss Pantywaist Pantywaist Beer Drinker, when I tell you that it is worth the wait, and you don’t need to insert this one anally to feel the full effects either (no, I kid you not, it’s the latest craze among college kids, according to The Missus, who is an EMT, and learned about it recently at an International Trauma Life Support class).
No, sir, just pour it down your gullet, or if you’re smarter than I am, sip this sweet libation hand crafted by the Tröegs Brothers, whose real names aren’t Tröegs (for the full story, see this page, which includes the real definition of Tröeg) to savor what they call quite appropriately on their site:
“a jolly and delicious beer for the holidays.”
My final analysis: a solid four-star rating and only deducted a star because I’m not a real beer connoisseur (I don’t even know if that word is the right word when you’re talking about beer, I think that only refers to wine — but I do know about the overuse of parentheses as you can tell that I used them in every single paragraph in this post, not counting quotes) and may be completely off-base here. Somehow I doubt it, though, because even in this 2004 Philadelphia Daily News column, it beat out the likes of similarly-named, punch-packing holiday ales: Victory Hop Wallop, Stone Double Bastard, Weyerbacher Insanity, Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale and Anchor Our Special Ale.
* Full disclosure: I was not paid by the Tröegs Brothers to write this review. Also I am not related to them and do not have stock in their company.