My first Valentine’s Day card from my first love

Valentine Sara2

Valentine Sara1Sara Thomas was her name.

She was the daughter of a pastor.

She had red hair and glasses. That’s why ever since I’ve always “had a thing” for women in red hair and glasses.

I’ll be honest that I don’t remember much about our romance. I didn’t even remember this card. My mother found it last year sometime and gave it to me.

I mostly remember a neighbor of hers, named Robyn Richards, who used to beat me up. I’ve talked about her previously when I discussed all the bad girls who beat me up. Well, not all the bad girls…

spanking in school

I neglected to mention Miss Havisham (above), who also used to beat me with a ruler in that one-room schoolhouse until everything at which I looked appeared to be in sepia. That’s why since I’ve never much liked brunettes with those wire-rimmed spectacles.

As for Sara, while I don’t remember much about her (sorry we were only in first through sixth grades together, how am I supposed to remember all that?), I do remember that later I went to Awana at her dad’s church later. For those not familiar with Awana, it was basically the Christian version of the Red Pioneers youth organization made famous in the former Soviet Union, complete with uniforms and bandanas:

The only difference: we saluted an American AND a Christian flag, and we didn’t dance around a May pole (we called it a Jesus pole).

In sixth grade, Sara’s dad moved to another church, and the family with them, at least that’s what we were told by our teachers. Now I wonder if maybe they weren’t shipped via train a la Fiddler on the Roof to a camp in Siberia.

Sara, моя любовь, I still think of you fondly and hope you are still alive and doing well.


On Friday the 13th, I received this award from Kim @ Perfectly Cursed Life:


A few notes on this:

  1. While I appreciate the sentiment, no really I do, Kim, so please take my next few comments with a grain of salt and snarkiness as accustomed a humor blogger of my…ahem…stature 😉 it would have been nice to have the award for this year. Do I really suck so far this year? (Ummmm, keep your comments to yourself if I do, thank you– this isn’t directed to just Kim but all who want to pitch in with their own snarky comment; that was meant as a rhetorical question which you aren’t supposed to answer. So there. :p!)
  2. Also I’m not sure how thankful I should be when I was given this award along with a blogs named Cat’s Puke and The Opposite of Classy. On top of that Kim’s blog is called Perfectly Cursed Life. I guess I shouldn’t complain, huh?
  3. This sort of looks like a girly award, and I am not a girly man, despite liking that group who did the song “YMCA” as I mentioned previously.
  4. Finally, on a semi-serious note, I will not be tagging another five, 10 or 15 bloggers with this award, because I think there are too many good bloggers out there. All of you who read this consider yourself tagged. You’re all cute, well, except for you, Lobo. You are not cute. 😉

For cute bloggers, well, mostly except for Lobo, visit the following:

Humor Bloggers


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