Last night The Wife and I attended a Valentine Candlelight Dinner, that not only had a delicious hot buffet and live music, but also a cakewalk! games! door prizes! fun! and a ventriloquist and his friend, Henrietta the ostrich!
Last year we went to this same dinner for Valentine’s. I didn’t remember it this year until I happened to be walking past the Chinese restaurant in town when I saw a sign similar to the one above, except I don’t think it mentioned the ventriloquist, and I thought, “Why not?” We had had fun at last year’s dinner.
I only learned about the ventriloquist after going to pick up the tickets at the local Christian summer camp that was holding the dinner. At that point, one might think that I might bow out since the wife is as much a fan of ventriloquists as she is of clowns. But I decided even with the ventriloquist, this would be too much good clean fun to pass up.
And it was. After dinner, which was delicious as advertised, the director of the camp, the pastor mentioned above, began the night with this joke:
A frog walks into a bank and says “I wanna loan.”
“Well Mr.. frog, go over there to Mrs. Black’s desk, she is the loan manager, I’m sure she will be happy to talk to you,” The head desk says.
The frog hops over to Mrs. Patty Black’s desk and says, “I wanna loan.”
Mrs. Black says, “Well Mr. Frog, we will have to get some paperwork for you to sign, so if you will wait right here…” At this point the frog pulls out of his knapsack a golden disk and hands it over to her.
She asks, confused, “What is this?”
The frog croaks back, “I wanna loan.” She rubs her head, and walks back to her boss and says, “I don’t get it, a frog hops in here wanting a loan, and gives me this golden disk. Do you know what it is?”
The boss laughs and says, “It’s a knick-knack Patty Black, give the frog a loan!”
The crowd, whose average age is probably at least 60, gave out a collective groan, and so it went downhill from there until he pulled out Henrietta…at which point it went into the negative numbers on the corny joke scale.
At one point, Henrietta’s handler had a few of us serenade our wives (because the vast majority of us, of course, being the good Christian folks that we were, were happily married) with kazoos. We hummed through them the song, “Let Me Call You Sweetheart” (which if you click on the link sounded very much similar to that).
Then we had a cakewalk, where the men walked around in a circle with numbers on paper on the floor while music was playing. Once it stopped, a number was drawn from a bowl and whoever was standing on the number was given a cake (ostensibly, for his wife, I say ostensibly because so far I’m the only one who’s eaten it).
Last year, I wasn’t so lucky and didn’t win anything. This year, I won the very last cake: a red velvet cake and The Wife won a door prize: a jar of Hershey’s kisses.
So as you can see, we didn’t go home empty-handed.
Hint: Click on the photos for extra link fun including a kazoo version of Metallica’s Enter Sandman and a skiing ostrich!