Superfluous Surfing Saturday #5: Word to Shontelle, fruit makes the best pickings

So yesterday I put a link to this video by Shontelle Layne. Today, I decided to read the lyrics:

Hey, ohh, let me tell you no.
Oh baby.
Trying to decide, trying to decide if I, really wanna go out tonight.
I never use to go out without you, I’m not sure I remember how to.
I’m gonna be late gonna be late but, all my girls gonna have to wait cause, I don’t know if I like my outfit.
I tried everything in my closet.

Nothing feels right when I’m not with you, sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos.
Taking them off cause I feel a fool, trying to dress up when I’m missing you.
Ima step out of this lingerie, curl up in a ball with something Hanes.
In that I lay, with nothing but your t-shirt on.
Oh, with nothing but your t-shirt on.

I’m going to stop there, because I don’t know how much either you or I can stomach. I don’t know why, but I was really struck by the grammatical errors. Let’s just skip the first stanza and go right to the fourth line of the second stanza:

In that I lay, with nothing but your t-shirt on.

Wow. Where do I begin? Not only do we have a fragment of a sentence, but also perhaps more egregious than that, we have improper use of the word “lay.” It should be “lie.”

Even though I was (notice, not were) an English major, I consulted the Internet (AP Style, capitalized for those questioning my use of capitalization) to double-check and found this:

Yes, Grammar Girl confirmed what I knew to be true, and what, as she illustrates, that neither Bob Dylan nor Eric Clapton knew when they wrote “Lay Lady Lay” and “Lay Down Sally.”

Putting the grammar aside for a moment, I have other more important issues than that with the song: the use of the brands Jimmy Choo and Hanes.

Why not Christian Louboutins or Manolo Blahniks or Tory Burchs for shoes, and the “comfortable, up-to-date styles of” Fruit of the Looms for t-shirts? Even if she was referring to underwear, wasn’t Emma right that “fruit makes the best pickings”?

In addition, now that they’re available in blue, how can you refuse, Shontelle, to change your lyrics?

However, I must admit changing the lyrics to:

Ima step out of this lingerie, curl up in a ball with something blue in Fruit of the Looms

might not roll off the tongue the same way.


Super superfluous video: If not a member,you can register, you don’t even have to have a blog and you’ll receive no spam– even though, as Monty sings, it is lovely and wonderful.


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