Since The Wife and I don’t have a cable or satellite subscription, we don’t keep up on world events like the rest of y’all. Well, at least, I don’t…as the wife said to me when I mentioned one of these stories to her: Duh that’s like, so last week.
Among the “top” stories I’ve missed recently:
Bigfoot Hoax…a HOAX!: I missed the news about the recent Bigfoot find in Georgia being a hoax (a rubber suit) until earlier this week while skimming newspapers tallying up stories I had written in the last month for my job as a correspondent for one of our country’s fine daily newspapers. Originally I was alerted to the story via investigative journalist Bex over at The Blog of Bex, who told me about two men who found Bigfoot in the mountains of Georgia and was worried about the reputation of her state, Georgia, for these yahoos taking the carcass frozen across country. Well, rest easy, Bex, it has been restored– well, at least, in this case. Your state can now be known for making sh*t up.
But now by doing extensive research (okay, it was Wikipedia), I’ve learned my own state (technically a Commonwealth, folks) is not immune to the Bigfoot hoax phenomenon:
“On September 16, 2007, in the Allegheny National Forest near the town of Ridgway, Pennsylvania, hunter Rick Jacobs captured an image of an animal using an automatically triggered camera attached to a tree which some claimed was Bigfoot. A spokesperson for the Pennsylvania Game Commission challenged the Bigfoot explanation, saying that it looked like ‘a bear with a severe case of mange.'”
Jacobs, I learned later, was using the camera to track patterns of deer for the upcoming fall deer season. Here are the photos. You be the judge. Not that I’m cynical or anything, but why do in these reported sightings of Bigfoot or mountain lions here in our fair Commonwealth can’t anyone get a clear photo? In this day and age, too, can’t anybody Photoshop Bigfoot or a mountain lion into the photo or dress up in a Bigfoot suit?
Flies, surprise, surprise, don’t want to be killed: Caltech researchers have discovered that fruit flies when swatted at look to avoid being killed. For video proof, see here.
Best line in news story on subject: “The research suggests that the best way of swatting a fly is to creep up slowly and aim ahead of its location.” How much money was spent on this research? How many government grants were given for this?
Here’s to social justice: In The Scotsman recently was this headline: £1bn Johnnie Walker helps Diageo’s profit.
Best quote came from Diageo chief executive Paul Walsh: “Whether you agree with the social justice of this or not, there is certainly a nucleus of consumers in the top 50 cities [worldwide] that have the means and desire to consume the best. That is not going to change.” Well, thank the good Lord for that! When you’re sipping your Scotch this holiday weekend (for those of us in the States), toast Mr. Walsh and yourself and social justice– if you qualify. If not, enjoy your Budweiser.
I’ll have more to say on Johnnie Walker and his brothers Black and Red in my next post, with more great quotes from Walsh in The Daily Telegraph and The Times of London — plus my own witty editorial on the subject, of course…
…until then, visit Humor-Blogs.com, cast a vote for this post if you find it even mildly amusing and then check out some of the other funny bloggers there including Chris Wood, who probably knows more about these British stories than I do since he’s from across the pond, as they say. (And next time, unlike these last two posts, I won’t use CAPS in my headlines. I PROMISE. 😉 Or emoticons anywhere in the post either.)