Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? The man at the funeral, that’s who.

The last time I was here, I wasn’t very funny, just sharing applications that I use and recommend. YAWN. Hopefully, this will be slightly more funny, if not laugh out loud funny, at least mildly amusing and enough for you to continue to read my ramblings.

I am talking to my father on the phone a few days ago when he says this:

That reminds me I have a cookie in my car from a month ago.

Um (if you haven’t noticed, I didn’t learn anything from that Oral Communications class I had in college, because I use um a lot…um, sorry), okay, Dad. So naturally I have to ask just where this cookie came from.

He explains that a man they knew pulled the cookie out of his pants pocket and gave it to him while he was at a funeral:

We didn’t know what to do with it, because it had been in his pocket.

My mother in the background says:

Oh, Ronnie, it wasn’t like he had had it in there for days. He just bought it that day he told us.

(Of course, he might have been lying and STOLE it.)

Okay, so this all really makes sense, first from accepting the cookie in the first place. Um, how about saying, “No, thank you. We already ate.”? I mean, even if you know the person, is it normal to go around accepting a cookie from said person at a funeral?

Second, why is the man giving the cookie away at a funeral? Did he think, “You know, I shouldn’t have this cookie later, because my friend Bob just died and I shouldn’t be having good thoughts like how good the cookie is. I think I’ll give it to Ron. I bet he wouldn’t mind since he didn’t know Bob as well as I did, and it won’t be as disrespectful if he eats it and enjoys it later.” Huh?

Also not to belabor this too much, but was the cookie wrapped even? Or was it just loose in his pocket? I mean, you don’t know what was in his pocket, Dad. Ewwww.

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10 responses to “Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? The man at the funeral, that’s who.

  1. i thought barney stole the cookie from the cookie jar.

  2. Hey! You just link loved me! How fabulous are YOU?

    Is your Dad’s real name Ron? Cause my dad’s name is Ron too!

    I guess at a funeral you can’t just say NO to a person who gives you a gift. You just graciously accept it and then throw it in the back seat and then find it a month later and tell your kids about it. Then your kids talk about it on their blog.

  3. unfinishedperson

    Shieldmaiden96: You’re one weird lady, but that’s why I love you (note: this is The Wife, not some strange, random woman that I’m saying I love).

    Chat Blanc: Um, okay. 😉

    Jenn: Famous Amos, have to say I didn’t consider that. But I always thought Amos was a black man, or is that just in Amos and Andy? See, this guy was a white guy since where I live, we have about one black person for every40,000 people and with a population in our county of 40,000…well, you get the idea.

    Damon: No, this was a grown man…I think Speaker of the House is like assistant to the assistant of the assistant janitor, so you’re probably my boss, but I’ll TRY TO KEEP UP — get it, TRY TO KEEP UP. As The Wife mockingly says to me sometimes (okay, a lot): “Har, har, har.”

    Lisa (what’s this about the cooler sister? I only have one sister, so you can be the cool sister, but not the “cooler” sister because that would imply that you’re cooler than my other sister, which you’re not): You’re right about the napkin. I forgot…and if that was from Dee’s Diner, that probably wasn’t steak unless it was salisbury steak like the kind we’d get in cafeteria in elementary school. Talk about ewwww.

    Diesel: A lint cookie? I didn’t think of that. It might have been…and it wasn’t that other kind of cookie either. I’m always cleaning those ones out of my browser’s pockets.

    Sarah B: I’ve been a member of those clubs too. I don’t know how many book clubs I’ve started, where I was the only member. It’s hard to get a discussion going…and I did like how you gave the plug. Very nice. I’ll have to come over to your blog and return the favor for my own blog. It’s what I think Margaret over at Nanny Goats in Panties calls linklove, which as you can see from this post and now this comment I’m all about.

  4. Wow! You’re like my hero now! I have never been a part of a private, highly secret, underground ‘members only’ section of anything… unless of course it was one of my own clubs. And it is so not as cool when you are the only member!

    Thanks for stopping by today. Feel free to get the word out to ANYONE about http://www.homewithfriends.com (did you like how I gave a plug for myself on your very own blog?)

    I am still technically on humor_blogs but I try to stay away otherwise I start sounding like a 14 year old girl (nobody likes me, my rank isn’t improving…wahhhhhh!) Or maybe it’s a bit more like Lucy Ricardo, either way it aint pretty and I got tired of obsessing so I stay away! Not to mention Home With Friends has been all consuming. So help me justify all the time I spent creating the site! Tell people to come by and USE THE SITE!!!!

    Thanks again.

    And EWW to the cookie! Very strange!

  5. That’s pretty weird. Was it a lint cookie?

    Speaking of applications and cookies, I once spent 3 weeks removing all the cookies from an application I wrote. And the circle of life continues.

  6. You did too sound like a 14-year old girl.

    And I’m sure the cookie was wrapped in a napkin, you dolt.

    Hello, everyone knows that old men and women wrap things in napkins and stick them in their pockets. Remember grandma? She once pulled a piece of steak from D’s Diner out of her purse wrapped in a napkin. Steak? Well, at least that is what they told her it was….

  7. That’s just weird, unless you’re 5.
    My son keeps bugs in his pockets, oh and lizards.

    Congrats on being Speaker of the House.
    (She made me assistant to the assistant janitor. Not quite as prestigious, but it pays the same!)

  8. I bet it is Booyah. I’ve heard her say that quite a bit.

    And you know, even if it isn’t, I think she might as well be Chelle Booyah from now on…

    It’s going to be pretty hard to undo. 🙂

    A cookie from his pocket… Under what circumstances does one carry cookies in ones pockets– and then SHARE?

    Hey– maybe he was Famous Amos.

  9. I have a very firm rule–never ever accept a cookie from an old guy’s pocket. oh wait, maybe that was something else. same diff

  10. I would have solemnly approached the casket and put the cookie on top with the flowers.

    Please promise you’ll do that for me. Everyone gets a cookie and puts it up there. That’d rock.

    Or you can eat them. Your choice.