Shall I compare our cat Seamus to my sister’s son?

After reading my sister’s great American blog entry about our cat versus her son, my nephew, my answer is yes, I shall, I shall.

This one has been a long time coming, but I didn’t want to broach the subject, lest I offend Sister, with the comparison between Seamus, our cat, and her son, to whom she affectionately refers as “Toddler” on her blog.

Now though that’s she opened the door with mentioning/not mentioning “the milk cap-ring-thingee stealing incident where the toddler snatched the cat’s toy before the cat could pull it within its grasp.” That is only one of the many ways Seamus and Toddler are alike, but it is one of the first.

  • Seamus fetches the milk-cap-ring-thingee when tossed to him like the dog he isn’t.
  • Toddler fetches the milk-cap-ring-thingee when tossed to him like neither the dog nor cat he isn’t. Like Seamus, he also grows bored with fetching and wanders off to do something else when he is no longer interested in aforementioned toss and fetching.

A couple of other ways Seamus and Toddler are alike:

  • Seamus doesn’t like when I’m on phone with Sister, not paying attention to him, and seems to pester me, sometimes talking to me (usually in Farsi, although occasionally Aramaic, neither of which I understand, but recognize from my extensive reading of intelligence documents for the CIA on Iran’s nuclear program — oops, I wasn’t supposed to say that, was I, guys? sorrreee — and my extensive reading of the New Testament of the Bible in the original language), often pawing random items off the kitchen counter.
  • Toddler doesn’t like when Sister is on phone with me, not paying attention to him, often talking to her (also in Farsi and Aramaic, another way surprisingly the two are alike; I don’t know why they just can’t get along since they speak the same languages) and wreaking unholy havoc around her while she is on phone. “Toddler, what are you doing now?…Oh, Toddler, no, don’t…” which is usually followed by “touch that, play with that, hit the kitty, hit the dog…”
  • Seamus squirms sometimes when held as if he’d rather be somewhere else: usually trying to find insects on screens to windows or on wall above lamp.
  • Toddler squirms sometimes when held as if he’d rather be somewhere else: usually, though, not trying to find insects on screens, but wanting Mommy’s boob again even though Wife and Self think he should have been weaned long ago, what with our extensive knowledge of child-rearing since Wife and Self have no children (for a more serious presentation on weaning, see this article on Healthline, where it is noted that in other countries children are still suckling at their mother’s breast as old as 4.20 years! OMHG! — o my Holy God — in the U.S. average 2.75 years, less of an exclamation point, and less of an OMHG) and all.

I’m sure if I sat down and thought about it some more, I could come up with at least a dozen more ways Seamus and Toddler are alike, but for now, my brain hurts from trying to wrap its coils around that thought of weaning until 4.20 years. Yikes and double yikes! Those Frenchies and their crazy ways!

6 responses to “Shall I compare our cat Seamus to my sister’s son?

  1. Yes, the cat does bug me when I’m on the computer, but usually only in the morning. Right now he’s racked out on the bed behind me asleep. I think he just yawned, must have known I was typing about him.

  2. Does the toddler insist on bugging you when you’re on the computer? Does that cat do that too? Because both my preschooler and my cats insist on bugging me ONLY when I’m on the computer. They could care less all other times.

  3. I did not realize milk cap ring thingy was its offical title. Also? My cat used to play with those all the time, too! ‘Sup with that?

  4. Also: I’m uncomfortable with the word ‘suckling’.

  5. They are both cute when they are sleeping…..;)

  6. You are a dork.

    Yet still funny….. I suppose