When you’re planning your next frog leg dinner, don’t forget to use a Scripto Giga pen to write the invitations, if you can find one.
As you may remember, I love the now unavailable Scripto Giga Pen. What I didn’t say was that I was so obsessed that I e-mailed Scripto to ask them why the website says the pens are still available. Here was the response I received:
May 28, 2008
Dear Mr. Dickens*:
Thank you for taking the time to call regarding the availability of our Scripto Giga pen, Unfortunately that item has been discontinued we no longer have any in our inventory nor have any further historical information.
Thank you again for your continued interest and support of Scripto products, please let us know if we can be of further assistance.
Sales Admin. Asst.
* name changed to the author whose book Great Expectations I will be reading in the near future
** name changed to the author whose book Stardust I just finished last night
And here’s my response:
First, of all, I didn’t call. I e-mailed you. Second, I just noticed that you put a comma where a period should be (sorry, I’m white) after your first sentence and also the second sentence is a run-on sentence, because you either need a comma, a period or a semi-colon after the word “discontinued.”
Third, WTF on the “any further historical information”? You mean, you can’t give me a timeline of the Scripto Giga pen that would include, but not be limited to, the following details:
- the exact date and time that the first Scripto Giga pen rolled off the production line, as well as a photo of that first pen, or even better a replica — oh, wait, I have a few around here somewhere
- the name of the inventor of the Scripto Giga pen
- how he/she originated the idea of the Scripto Giga pen (notice, I can keep seeing Scripto Giga pen as if I’m giving a plug for a product, even though really I’m not, because as you can read above: that item has been discontinued)?
I was really hoping that you could give me those kind of details, Mr. Gaiman.
Fourth, I don’t know if I’ll have “a continued interest and support of Scripto products”, since you chose to discontinue the Scripto product I love. Fifth, you can be “of further assistance” by restarting production of the Scripto Giga pens immediately to satisfy this customer, because the customer always comes first, doesn’t he or she (he, in this case)?
Extremely Pissed Off And Soon-To-Be Ex-Scripto Customer
What The Dickens (to you)
P.S. If Scripto really cared, I would have thought they would have had at least a v.p. of customer complaints reply to me, not a lowly sales admin. asst. Please pass along to your superiors.
A photo of one of the few remaining replicas in existence which I am lucky enough to own (notice, though, the ink is almost out):
I only noticed after looking at this photo that it was made in Korea (no, I don’t usually look at my favorite object with which to write; it only dawned on me now to do so) and realize I have friends who live in Korea. Maybe they could find the hidden stockpiles there? Hmmmm…..